There's noting but time and a face to lose....

In an attempt to be healthy (no not for some silly new years resolution that I will not keep) on a temporary basis I have taken up drinking water. I say this like I just joined a team or something. In truth this "healthy venture" was started up after watching all my co-workers drink what seemed like endless buckts of whater. Now my room is littered with empty Nestly "Pure Life" water bottles. Thank's guys! I think also thanks to this new "venture" I have ingested a small lake. Definitly more water than a pond, but not quite enough to say Lake Ontario or an ocean. That would take a year of pure dedication. Dedication that I do not have the motivation to maintain. The drinking of water won't last, I'd actually be surprised if it went on past the weekend. Then my room can go back to displaying it's normal array of coke cans and bottles. It does feel nice to do something that is actually considered positive for my health.

On another topic. A topic slightly more serious than the drinking of small lakes out of "Nestle Pure Life" bottles. I think I've concluded that my life has become stagnent. In allowing my life to become stagnent I have allowed myself to slip into a daze in which I am actually kind of sad, but I cant/wont admit it. I'm still in the aftermath of September and I should not be. Gosh who knew the month of august and the extreme happpiness it gave me would be so damn expensive in the long run. I'd still do it again, but gosh I want to be happy again. I actuallly just want to be myself again, as taht is happy to me. I don't liek my job, and I'm tired all the time because of this job that I dont like. 3 months left to go and then I can find a new job, which should help, but Im not waiting 3 months to be happy, I can only sit in this unconcious state for so long before I willl go crazy. A friend of mine had a very similar year. Lucky for her shes only 19 and has years and years of being a kid left before she reaches my "puma" state. She has a blog that people actual read. Imagine that! People reading what is written, now there's an idea! Anyways, (focus) she went through every month and concluded that a) she had come away with nothing from the year. I contest this. She made new friends, fell in like (love is just such a scarry word) and yes she got hurt, but damn it was good while it lasted, she finnished her first year of university. I'd say it was really a good year for her. Why do we always sell ourselves short (myself included)? I actually think this was a great year for myself. It was in the very least a productive year in which a lot of tasks were accomplished. Yes I lost more than I would have liked (silly boys and their way to stand out) but it was a risk I took and I'd take it again. Ok now on to her advice (I told you I needed to focus) She said that what she learned this year was thtat mistakes will be made, and things may not turn out, but life is long enough that there will always be other chances and new events in which things can be tried again. She also went on to say that she had prayed for time to pass quickly at certain points throughout the year, and that it was more important in the end to slow down and enjoy things while they lasted. I am definlty guilty of praying to the time lords for time to fly by, and I've found various methods to accomplish this task. If, for instance, you get into a set routien day after day, time flys by as it's all the same. This comes with a huge price. The price is a numbness that slowly invades your system. Nothing stands out, nothing is ever new, yes there is no regression, but there is also no advancment. So in conclusion, while I may be a couple years older than my friend, I too am adopting the idea that even the rough times deserve their chance to be "enjoyed" and simply roads of cycle days and the numbness that they bring should be avoided, as its hard to slow down once youve sped up. After all the only thing youre really losing in the end is time and a face, and there's nothing you can do about that. May as well enjoy it while you have it!