Breaking Popsicle laws ..

Oh gosh.. I'm afraid to start typing for fear that I may never stop. I will warn you right now that I have a lot on my mind. There is so much on my mind that I've just balled up into one huge entangled mess, in an effort to trick myself into thinking that there is nothing to think about... COnfused yet? Welcome to my world.. or more specifically, my brain... Having said that, this is just the tip of the ice burg, so really even if you understand so far, and are ahpily patting yourself on the back for being a smart cookie.... you're a little ahead of yourself.. and if for whatever reason you still can follow my logic by the end of this blog... congrats, your method of thinking is as messed up as mine...
Ok. I originally had the idea of just writing paragraph upon paragraph on my thoughts... BUt I think its better (or at least shorter) to just type them up as comments or general statements... So here it goes....

I hate and love the fact that some people in your life possess the power (wether they know it or not) to summon the most extreme of feelings from you with the most random of comments. And the kicker here, is that these comments come at the times when you are least expecting them, and flip you into a frenzie of vulnerability and confusion (though over time you learn how to turn these moments into temp. eppisodes as opposed to long and drawn out phases). I got one of these today.. It came in the form of "My mom asked about you today..."

I considder myself lucky to have experienced the extreme hurt that this person has caused me. I've loved, and been loved.. The cost is a piece of me I will not get back.. ever and a cautioness that I never had before..

People feel the need to measure everything in time. It drives me bonkers! Something that is short lived (for whatever reason) can be just as valuable and profound as something that lasts for years... I say this in relation to relationships, but I think it applies to much more than that. People discount you or dont take your comments seirously it seems if you dont have the time to back it up.. SIlly rabbits! I've only really truly liked two peopel in my life.. Its a like that only you know you have youreself, and you cant help it, you just have it regardless of if you want to or not.. You cant stop yoruself in the process of getting to knwo someone from feeling this either (I tried) if the true potential is there, its unavoidable... The thing is, one person I knew for over 8 years, people understand this... The other I knew for a month, people just think I'm misguided or delusional.. Incidently these boys both had the same name, both were born in august (first 2 weeeks) and both want to be teachers... weird! and no I didnt know this until I got to know them obviously..

Apparently there is a rule that I have been unaware of since birth.. One can only have popsicles in the summer/spring months.. I have been in direct violation of this law a number of times.. i will break this law numerous times this winter..

Everyone think's their life is tougher than others. These people are usually wrong. Most of us just have tough periods, and our periods of "toughness" do not match up with other's periods of "toughness" so incidently other's lives look a lot easier as a result of these periods not atching up.. I am guilty of thinking that my life is tougher than my friends... at least at times. My schedule right now is a tough cookie to work with..

Buying yourself something hen youre stressed out or unhappy will distract you for a day at most... This is never a smart solution to a problem.. but a good bandaid if you need to "buy" yourslef some time..> I got myself new boots for this purpose.