Lists..

For most New Years Eve is a time to reflect on the past year. I've hit that point exactly 6 days early... Truthfully, I have been thinking about the past year and how things have changed for a couple days now. Today was simply the fist day I've had time to sit down and type what I've been carrying around in my head.

I lost myself this year. (More specifically, in early September... But the roots for this dissapearance had been made much earlier.. September is simply when i would have started to distribute my picture on Milk Cartons wit the title "Missing" above some picture of me in Pj's with messy hair, eating mini eggs while holding a can of coke, with a hockey stick in one had and a couple seasons of Dawson's Creek in the other.)

I hope to find myself in the new year.

Its funny how ...
a) 4 months can go by so quickly,
b) so much can change in a period that feels so quick

Ok so I like the idea of lists.. Organization is somthing I have never spent too much time thinking about, and thus have enver been good at... So here goes my one attempt at a positive change... The introduction of lists to blogging...

The good things I have done in the past 4 months (starting on a positive note)
the past 4 months I have:
*Run a marathon
*Gotten a job that will halp me become a police officer.. It's actually related.
*Started to get back on a normal gym routien
*Gone to a Keith Urban concert. Music is healthy in so many ways.
*Went to the Royal Winter Fair.. Driving up to the gates almost brought me to tears.. If you knew me you'd know I dont cry very often, and I definitly dont admit it when I do.
*Started line dancing again.. Im terrrible at it, but the way I enjoy it is simple and uncomplicated.. It's right up there with my love for horses and corn fields... It's a temp escape into 100% happiness..
*Started my Police testing
*Saw my 2 best friends. This doesnt sound big, but my one friend was in Japan for the past year and is now in edmonton for the next year, while my other friend is in Scottland for the next 4 years. So, yes, seeing them is a big and positive thing. Kelly especially, because she reminds me of who I have been and who I will always want to be... myself.
I haven't beeen to so many bars since my Western years.
*Started blogging again

Things that have changed in me, or more specifically changed me..
*My knowledge about the "bar scene" is far superior to what is going on in the sports world. I have not been to this many bars since my western years.. Bars are not my thing, I hate them and who they make me become.
*I could have a full conversation on why Whole Foods is the best place on earth. I dont enjoy food shopping, thus could care less where the food comes from. I have never eaten organic food by request, I love unhealthy food! I hate places like this, that are trendy, and spark a twinkle in people's eye because they are trendy. Gosh, you have to dress up jjust to go to that place, its a "shopping experience".
*I have been to a trendy Toronto appartment multiple times, even a Christmas party in the pent house. Lauren excluded, I would rather be at home on the couch watching a movie. I hate having to be fake, but my full conversations in regards to Whole Foods worked wonders here.. Surprise surprise.
*I bought a pair of Lu Lu lemon pants. $100 on a pair of work out pants is unnecessary no matter how good they are!
* I have not returned multiple people's call because I was "too busy". These people are teh good people who deserve more than a call back.
*I pused myself into Nat and Paul's relationship. Paul and i were great friends simply bescuse we got along. We could talk about anything because we accepted eachother for who we were. I tried to change who Paul was, because I couldnt see things from his angle. I complicated a simple friendship.
* I became the crazy girl who couldnt get a clue. I called a boy more times than I knew I should, and didnt let go when i knew I had to. I lied to myself to make the temporary more comfortable, by telling myself that it wasn't temporary at all. Problem is I began to believe what I was telling myself. Now this boy runs when he sees me.

Going to the movies with Kelly so this will have to be continued later.. Memoirs of a Gisha (spelling?)