Cut short.. a room full of people, too much coffee and no sleep...

I remembered (more specifically found myself saying) another great phrase on the weekend... "Happy Camper". Aside from the slight memories of a person lost, and the close proximity with his friends (so so not a pleasant feeling) I was quite the happy camper this weekend. Or at least I was a happy camper at the beginning of the weekend. Sure it could have been more of a delieorious feeling confused as a happy one, but boy was it extreme. This extremeness can be attributed to the deadly (but surprisingly uplifting) combo of no sleep for over 48 hours and excessive amounts of coffee (intensified by the fact that I am still not a seasoned coffee drinker). I fear that a new addiction is in the makings. I still don't like coffee, and for what ever reason (possibly its association with stung out and stressed adults) I am heasitant to even admit that I drink the stuff. After watching myself act like a crazy woman, whose symptoms included the inability to sit still, and excessive and exagerated methods of speaking/conversations; I think I may need to ban coffee; at least in quantities exceeding one (1) medium cup.

On a side note. THe combination of coffee and seeing A2's friends at the orientation made me feel like a complete idiot. I couldn't stop myself. It brought out, and made me aware of all the insecurities I have developed over the years. YES to that! I find it funny that while you can be in a room filled with people who you both love and feel comfortable with, and yet the few who (not by their own actions or intentions... just association with someone) can rip that feeling of comfort away without even a glance. A2's friends were always nice, and even on the weekend, I never got a bad stare or any real reason to feel uncomfortable. I just felt uncomfortable on my own. I again, think it's funny that one person, can make you feel this. I wish things could just be normal, and that he would treat me like a normal friend. I guess we never were friends. All or nothing. Live and learn. THough I still dont know what my possition would be on the temp high vs long lasting mediocer (without the potential of experiencing what is in you to experience). I think the grass is always greener. THough if you spoke to me durring last August (a time in which even short glances brought about feelings of pure and innocent contentness and comfort) I would say that it was worth anything, even the loss of said feelings eventually.