Sometimes you just simply have to pick up the phone, only to hang it up. People spend way too much time trying to avoide saying what they are truly saying/thinking in an attempt to 1) make things easier on themselves and b) be nice. Sometimes the cold hard, and oh yes painful truth just has to be said. Why do we all (myself included) spend so much time and effort trying to avoid uncomfortable sitautions by dragging them on.. In the end if you arnt being honnest (and yes this includes ommtion of thoughts and feelings) then you're just making things ten times more complicated for everyone, yourself included. Yes you may come out looking like the nice one, and yes you probably will be able to say to your friends "oh gosh why don't they just figgure things out?" but YOU are the one causing it. Wouldn't it be better if you could save some form of common ground, in which no one came accross as "crazy" or "misguided" even if you did have to feel uncomfortable and like a jerk for a short time? I'm not above this. There have been times where people have called or sent me a msg where I have wanted to pull my hair out becuase they wouldnt leave me alone. It's just easier to say "call me tomorrow" as oppsoed to "you know what? I am just not that interested right now". Yes the second option sounds a lot meaner, but in the long run, if you said that straight out you'd probably run a lot better chances at being able to comfortably say "hi" when you ran into them at a public place over Christmas break. AND they wouldnt have to feel like a crazy person or like they did something wrong JUST because they took your words for 100% face value and, dare I say believed you. It just baffles me that I know all of this, and that I have been on both sides of it, and felt like total shit, and still I opt for treating others in exactly the same manner that made me feel like crap (and question myself) for a whole winter.... You think eventually at some point the cycle would change.... I hope my cycle does change. People can treat me like crap, and can make me fell like I did something wrong and analyze my actions all just so they feel liek they arnt a jerk... I will change this... Or at least I will force myself to be the one to absorb the uneasyness and say "hi" to them when I see them out at public functions... They are, after all, my actions (or lack of honesty and therefor action) that created these feelings of uneasyness in the first place.

So (even though I was not the one to create the uneasyness) and in stead was the one to feel badly and question my actions.... HELLO A#2. I had a fun summmer, and thats all it was. I know this now.. I just wish that there would be the potential for a HELLO in the future... just a hello..