Lines

Lines. People make them every day. I make them more consistantly and freequently then most. Some lines I make purley to make crossing them all the more exciting. Other lines, the most important ones, are made with the idea that they will prevent me from getting hurt, and more importantly from having to deal with the pool of emotions and thoughts that accompany regret. The thing is, by making these lines, and following these rules, life becomes relitivly safe. This is not to say that there isnt value in safety ( because there obviously is). After 25 years of good, well thought out decisions, and respecting all the lines I set up and the different specifications and requirements that accompanied them, I decided it was time. Time to not only cross a line (that was not set up for comming close to, let alone crossing). I crossed this line, at a sprint with my eyes wide open, arms flailing, knowing that it could possibly be the worst decision I had made in quite some time. The results? Yup it was a bad decision. It was reckless. It ended up as I had predicted: poorly. I didn't do it for the consquences of the act. I did it, to feel the consequences, to experience what I have been "missing out on" for 25 years. I did it to test myself, and to see if all this effort I have put into lines has been worthwhile. My conclusion: These lines are useful. These lines are part of who I am, and they're there for a reason. I like my lines, and in general I respect them. I put a lot of thought into my lines, and I like being the neardy cautious one. I also think that it's important to crash through them on occation. Makes you appriciate everything all the more, and brings a bit of change to something that seems constant. The pic: is me driving my car thru a huge puddle on a sketchy mountain road. Its a line I set up with the purpose to cross, and which lead to me clapping my hads like a 5 year old, filled with excitment and "lets do it again" feelings.

The only 25 year old amoungst throngs of children 7 and under

Simplicity is complicated. More specifically, achieving simplicity is complicated. I think truthfully, you can only find it in a moment, or if you're lucky a day. Nothing stays the same, and that is both a blessing and a curse at the same exact time. It's reassuring to know, that things change; that bad things can get better, and that the excitment that comes with new experiences is possible. In the same breath though (I should actually say thought) I would also say that while I love the possibility of change, I cringe at the fact that change is enevitable. It seems like I work away (in much the same way that a squirrel does in the summer when it hides its nuts) and finally when I think that I have everything perfectly set up, and picture perfect, it all comes crashing down. My nuts become lost, and once again, I must start looking for new nuts to hide, in hopes that this time I will remember where they are hidden. I'm getting better with this knowledge. I don't freek out when things don't happen like they were intended. I don't remember having this feeling at 7. I think at 7 I loved and 100% embraced every change. NOthing was scarry, and everything was exciting. I'm happy right now, and yet I'm uneasy. Slowly I'm loosing the simplicity, that I spent all winter creating. Here's to hoping that I remember where I hid at least one or two of my nuts!

Moving on, moving out, moving west.. This is, and has been my new "home" for the past 6 months. It will hopefully be my now not so new home for the next while.

8 months later...

So it's been a little while since I last posted (the exageration of the century). Here's the coles notes on whats gone on:
1) I have forgotten how to blog. As embarassing as it is to admit, it took me a good 5 minutes to learn how to post on my own site. 5 minutes is a long time, when the same action previously took under 5 seconds. Regression in the blogging world.
2) I have made a geograhpic change. I now reside in Alberta, as opposed to Ontario. I came significantly close to returning to Ontario. It's funny how the same thing that made me want to return, also played a hand in my decision to stay. *That is a post all in it's own tho*
3) My future (and also much more permanent) career choice has remained the same.
4) I have become a snowboarding bum, and frequent the hills at a minimum of 3 times a week. It took a trip home to Ontario to help me reach this state of appriciation for the athletic endevors that surround me.
5) In the short time that I've been here, I've made closer, and much more selfless friends then I've made in Ontario for the past 25 years. There are exceptions to this of course, as no one will come close to my best friends who can and hopefully will never be replaced. This is also anothe rpost worthy topic.
6) I have recently learnt that Kelly is always right. Especially, but not limited to a certain person/situation.. Took me 25 years and a few mistakes to learn it.. BUT I finally did. No one deserves to be treated and accomidated as a best friend, when you are not held in the same regard. In the same sence, it's not what you get out of a friendship, it's what you give. Figgure that one out.