Lauren in her poncho (blanket from her bed.. ha ha kidding) and me looking kinda sleepy...  

Dinner time pictures.. Such good outfits.. never will be creative enough to construct these creations... hoodies, t-shirts and pj pants for me.. well and a cpl dressy shirts here and there for good measure... :p 

The lovely Marry Kate oversized glasses model.. constructed ever-so creativly by napkins, water glasses and straws... 

Square roots, long stares and disgruntaled Shania fans....

I have a lot on my mind these days... and I could quite easily do a ton of posts talking about questions that I am trying to answer, or *think* I have answered or will probably never quite answer... But... I also think its important to (as in Garden State) talk about the good stuff.. So for this post its just a mini memory of a night just like any other... These nights have become a rarity in my busy working life.. and I treasure them, because they remind me that I am not a robot, and that there are things in me, that even when silenced are still there, trying ever so desperatly to be heard.. even if it is only for a short while, or by some random, silly action that others would be embarasesed by, or write off as stupidity.. not me.. I love these times.. I live for them..
First story of the day.. yes there are multiple stories (well 2 , but I like the word multiple.. its fun to say, and in this case type) ..... Ok, so I start work at 0800 HOURS which means that Im acutally at work for 0745 HOURS.. so I arrive at work in my normal early morning daze and "just get to work on time" state of mind... the entire parkinglot is blanketed in snow. There are two other vehicles in the parkinglot, both parcked the same direction. Like always I align the back of my truck with their trunks, lock my truck and go hapily (ok more like sleepily) on my way. *Seems logical enough right?* Work starts,, and I get a call from an LPO (loss prevention officer) around 1000 HOURS so basically 2 whole long hours later...asking me to meet him at the Shoppes Drugmart enterance... No big deal, I head off and am greeted by the LPO guy who says "get a load of this now.. check out this parking job.. the guy must have been pissed because his parking spot got taken" and there sits my truck in the MIDDLE of the driving isle, blocking all traffic driving though that area of the parking lot... My jaw must have hit the floor becasue I got a rather confused look from the LPO guy... until of course I explained thatthe car that he wanted me to call the police regarding to get towed.. was actually my own... and so out I went in full security attire and solved a two hour parking problem in about two minutes... a dumb but classic me moment... Wish I had thaken pictures though...
I also went out with 3 girlfriends of mine, who have over the past year become my core group of friends here at home... They are fancy, I am not.. But for whatever reason, it still fits.. I consider msyelf adaptable... Adaptable at least to the point where I can carry a converstation, or enjoy an evening regardless of where I am or what I'm talking about.. THe conditon... I have to like the perosn.. I do have a tendancy to get sucked in, however. I can mould myself to the point where I almost forget where I started.. These mmoments are usually characterized by huge alarm bells going off in my head, and are followed by long periods of me "staying in" and re-booting. I *sometimes* feel like I am getting to that point with this group, but I never quite get there... and nights like last night remind me why they are definitly a valuable group... Valuable sounds like Imeasure them by their worth , which I do not.. I just mean simply that I like them. Anyways I will post a couple pictures from our dinner out.. Four girls who had a fabulous 0900 dinner and conversed about the meaning of the term "square rooting" *not to be confused with mathamatical square roots, and the sad demise of yet another Hollywood marriage (jessica simpson and Nick), created Marry Kate's glasses on our table through the use of coasters, straws and water glasses, and asside by a heated debate in regards to a dissagrement regarding the "faboulousness" of Shania Twain came out having a pretty fun and "lite" night.. Truthfully, I enjoy the occational "empty" conversation, where the only product is laughing and silly issues are the only topics for debate... Sure if my life were plagued with only these concersations I would probably feel empty and like I was lacking something, but like everything else you need a balance.... Sometimes making up new phrases (which aare quickly adapted by the table of successful 30 sometin year olds sitting beside you) and talking about issues that are more likely to be found in some $3.00 tabloid than in an intellecutal magaizine or a newspaper are necesary.. they give you the security to eventually talk and think about the bigger issues.. BALANCE BALANCE BALANCE.. that's what its all about.. or so I am learning...

Creativity? Or copyright infraction?

I will be the first to admit that I'm a sucker for a clever comment. I also will adimt that I have written a number of these kinds of sentences over the years. I was almost addicted to them. I quite possibly still could be addicted to them. I am however, starting to question the originality of these sentences. They seem like they take so much thought and are so well put together when in reality, after you've written a few of them, its like riding a bike. These sentences have grown in value as they can also be used for things like msn names and, yes, even blogs. I'm not saying they're bad, like I said before I quite like them.. My problem is that they trigger a response in people... You are in a sence rewarded and each time perople admire your writing skills. It feels good, and so out come more clever sentences. The only difference now is that, while they originally sparked from a random memory, or an extremely good conversation, they are now manufactured to create more positive responses.... In short you become addicted to the admiration of others for the cleverness that you project. Thank's Pavlov! Ring the bell and people will project unlimited sentences about Muffy the Mouse and a nurses in purple converse.

On a side note I do not know when I started to become so negative... I am usually quite positive. I love hearing/reading something that makes me laugh or that is somewhat original... But I guess the truth is recently I have felt like I have begun to manufacture my sentences, whereas they used to be spontaniously created.. Maybe my little rant (ok no "maybe" really required) is more of a confession about myself and how I want to get back to writing stuff because it happened and not just pulling on strings to attract attention... All of my "clever" lines have had some sort of root, they were never true shams where I simply put up a line to guide people to believe that something false was true... I wouldnt cheat like that.. But I have in the past pulled on strings and emphasized things that wern't emphasizable just to get a response.. Yes a new word was required for that sentence.. So I guess I will continue with the cleaverness (at least in my own eyes) but no more use of sentence sweat shops to creat quality sentences at a quarter of the price... Do I look like Kathy Lee??? ha ha cheap shot I know!

deja vu

Ok so there are a first things that I feel the need to adimt to start off on "the right" foot for this blog...
First things first, I truthfully dont even know if I spelt the title for this post right. This will not be a rare occoruance. My spelling capabilities are somewhat limited, boardering on embarassing, while my grammar is actually quite good (ok maybe not in this post which is already littered with too many periods and I'm sure some other gramatical infraction)... The point is, if you cant handle a missing letter or an extra "e" thrown in on occation, and improper spelling drives you crazy.... I would not read any further.... That is if you have made it this far.

Second.. As you can see this is a "Part 2" and even my post title "deja vu" implies that it is the same thing all over again (thank you very much Mr. Yogie Bera (again I dotn know the spelling on his name, and I really don't feel like looking it up) Anyways, the POINT (which sometimes I struggle at getting to) as it's soo easy to get sidetracked is that I had another blog at one point. It lasted about a year and got me through a lot. I hit a point though where for whatever reason I feared that people reading my innermost thoughts (over that year) would bring on unfair judgements from people who didn't know me. The blog was deleted. Do I regret deleting the blog? No. It accomplished what it was ment to do. I do however, miss some of the random posts and random memories that it sparked.

Third... My return to blogging.. Why delete a blog only to start a whole new one over? I don't feel like I'm back where I started. A year has come and gone, and while this past year was expected to be tough, it actually proved to be a rather "missable" year.. not to be confused with miserable (which could be potentially this year comming up... but hopefully not!) BLogging for me last year was a way to get my frustrations out, to confess my thoughts and feelings without have to worry about the consequences of these confessins. It was also a way that gave me the abilitly to offer candor that I believe everyone wants to, but can't for oh soo many reasons. Im sure I will have a full post on this topic, however, so I won't get into it now. Basically, blogging is like running for me...It's a chance to be free and clear and to release everything that is bottled up inside... At least for a few seconds... Which in this day and age, is a priceles comodity.

So let's raise a glass of milk to the start of another blog... or more specifically, to the continuation of a previous blog...

Megan